


Ticket stubs are fire fuel

by ChicagosLights



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: Age Difference, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:47:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29203101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChicagosLights/pseuds/ChicagosLights
Summary: This thing between them, this disgusting oily thing, it was perfectly doused in gasoline just waiting to go up in flames.All it needed was the match and the kindling.
Relationships: Pete Wentz/Patrick Stump
Comments: 3
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

To say their relationship was toxic felt like an understatement; he was 21, recently turned 22 but still had the face of a baby, and was carded every time they went to a bar. He took online classes on a bus that rocked sometimes and made it hard to write things down or had shit data signals and sometimes had late assignments, have fun explaining to the teacher that you were having to deal with your rock star boyfriend having a meltdown and that’s why the music theory essay was late. As for his ‘rock star’ boyfriend he was 34, still somehow the Peter Pan he always was; still screaming on stage and playing, the face of tabloids swooning over his sexiness and or bashing him and his band like it was going out of style, barely sleeping over unhealthy lifestyles and finding something to get into a screaming match with his boyfriend over. 

And then there was that word, ‘Boyfriend’, they weren’t even really were that were they? 

To say that Pete Wentz and Patrick Stump were fireworks set off too soon and already fizzling out to ash was an understatement; they were doomed from the second Patrick had been talking shit at one of Pete’s shows, screwed the moment they’d locked eyes and the younger realized that Pete heard him, fucked over the minute after dragging Patrick onto the stage with him to play that Pete heard him and decided he needed this kid in his life, ruined as soon as they were backstage in a bathroom making out and hey how did that happen? 

* * *

Boyfriend.

That word made Patrick ache inside as he stared blankly at his laptop, the page was almost done just a few hundred more words but they just weren’t coming to mind. Somewhere on the bus, he could hear Pete snoring, a sound that was usually relieving because god knew his bo-Pete needed sleep but it always evaded him. Now though, Patrick almost wished he wasn’t asleep, just so he could demand to know what the fuck was on the newest cover of a recent magazine. 

_Pete Wentz: Rock Star playboy has a secret boyfriend?_

Andy hadn’t meant for Patrick to see it of course, some asshole fans had been suspecting for some time that the babyfaced guitar player was actually more than just Pete’s bandmate and had taped several of the magazines to Pete’s bus, unfortunately for the drummer Patrick had run back to the bus to grab his hat before a show and saw the smiling face of Pete on each cover with a tiny Patrick in a bubble. He’d been too numb to say anything, during the show he’d for some reason hoped Pete would’ve pulled him aside and said something- _anything_ to calm Patrick’s nerves down, but even as they all piled back to the busses for another show in another city all Pete had done that night was kiss Patrick’s brow and mumble “you did amazing baby” and went straight to bed. 

It shouldn’t have been a problem though, Pete clearly loved him right? 

Well, Patrick was starting to doubt that it was the same love. 

That night in the bathroom always tuck with him, just how absurd and rock-starish it had felt! Pete hadn’t fucked him in the bathroom though, instead he’d begged Patrick to go with them and basically throw his life away for Pete. Like an idiot he had, Pete had personally driven him to his apartment where he’d packed some things before he was whisked away to the tour bus. Just like that though their relationship-if you could call it that- had started off, whether there had been a hitch or sign somewhere Patrick couldn’t remember; the bandmates hadn’t been too against him joining, their guitarist was a dickhead anyway and Patrick at least knew about music, although he hadn’t missed the disapproving looks they'd given Pete after he’d mentioned how Patrick was “his golden boy”. 

Then it all started, and maybe Patrick shouldn’t have thought he was special to Pete in the first place but it was nice to pretend at least right? Pete hanging out at parties later and later, clearly flirting with people even when Patrick awkwardly stood nearby feeling the slow cracks begin in his heart, up until the point where he’d see Pete just sucking face or griding on someone else. Any time Patrick ran away to the bus, to pretend that their moving home was a sign that they were in a relationship, Pete would come back at ungodly hours smelling like beer and other people, having hickeys he didn’t even bother trying to hide and somehow having the balls to get into Patrick’s bunk with a goodnight kiss and a “sweet dreams”. 

Patrick wasn’t stupid but he wasn’t sure if Pete was doing it all on purpose or if Patrick really had been just a “tour after fuck”, not his words but Andy’s when he had tried offering to let Patrick head back to Chicago. Tonight though Pete hadn’t gone with anyone else, hadn’t slept with anyone else or made out in front of Patrick like he was in some Hallmark Christmas movie where the kid found the babysitter/parent/sister/whoever female protagonist kissing someone. With a shaky breath, Patrick saved the document and closed it, it wasn’t due for another week and lately, he’d been getting things done early so he could turn them in on time for once but the words just...weren’t flowing right. 

He pulled up GarageBand to try and mess around a little, music usually helped him feel better, so it should be fine right? Except even as he messed around with a melody he’d been thinking of recently his eyes went to the little kitchenette on the bus where one of the magazines lay, so maybe he had put it there on purpose to see if Pete would react at all, sue him. But no, he wasn’t going to read it, the cover page already cut into him even if there hadn’t been anything scathing on it, it was just going to make the growing fissure worse. 

So earlier, when Patrick felt like he wasn’t stupid? Maybe that was a lie. 

It almost feels like he’s picking up a viper when he opens the magazine, his hands shake a little as he flips to the page talking about Pete and stares down at the black typed words:

_We all know Pete Wentz, who doesn’t know him? We could bring up everything about him but let’s be real you could just look that all up. Today we’re writing about something else, something very interesting; Pete Wentz appears to have a boyfriend. Earlier this year a new guitarist replaced Ricky Adams, a baby-faced cutie that definitely looks like he could do better than Wentz’s band; fans have been speculating for a while that these two were more than just bandmates, at the last show they played at this might have been confirmed when a few fans heard the singer and guitarist fighting outside the venue. These fans of course might have made this story up but from the sounds of it? Not only are these two dating, but Wentz is quite the cheater._

Patrick felt his stomach drop straight to hell; no, no no, oh _no,_

_These fans claimed that the guitarist, Patrick Stump, was asking Wentz why he couldn’t just stay with Patrick and why he went and had sex with people who weren’t Patrick. Wentz in turn was reported saying that Patrick wasn’t even worth a cuddle in bed, what a fucking asshole right?_

He felt his throat close; yeah, Pete had said that, Patrick had just asked if Pete could spend the evening with him in town but Pete had for some reason had a shit day that time resulting in that back-alley fight. He’d called Patrick clingy, annoying like a “high school girl” that didn’t trust anyone, in turn? Patrick had snapped at that point, screaming that Pete didn’t even care if he was around, that he just needed someone to make his “worthless trash band” look good when all Pete could do was just stand there for eye candy. That had obviously struck a chord inside Pete, his eyes became flinty after that and he’d immediately gone for Patrick’s self-esteem; of course they look at Pete, had Patrick ever looked in a mirror? Of course they think Pete’s sexy, Patrick was just a fat dough ball, of course the tabloids loved him over the “pathetic wistful kid who thought he was worth anything in the music business”. 

Patrick had shot back, saying that Pete obviously needed his ego inflated and that was why he had no problem leaving Patrick wondering where he was when he’d promised to spend time with him and going to just be a “whore in someone else's bed”. 

That was also the first and only time Pete had ever hit Patrick. 

He’d run away then, instead of going to his own bus he’d run to Andy’s where he cried his heart out to the drummer, bless Andy for just holding him and letting him drain himself out. Patrick was welcomed to sleep on Andy’s bus that night, he didn’t even argue or give Pete a second thought as he curled up in one of the bunks. He hadn’t slept long though, waking up to shouting and recognizing it was Pete; asking where Patrick was, asking why Andy wouldn’t let him see him, yelling at Andy that that was his golden boy and that he should be sleeping in Pete’s bus and not Andy’s. It had been a bad idea, maybe if Patrick had stayed on Andy’s bus he would've gone home sooner, but instead he groggily made his way to stand behind Andy and quietly ask what Pete was doing there. 

He’d gone back to Pete’s bus and pretended that he didn’t still feel numb at Pete’s words, or the lack of apology. 

_Fans even noticed what looked like a bruise on Stumps’ face but the guitarist insisted that it had been on his way back to the bus and not from Wentz, we’re not ones to speculate but isn’t this a common thing in toxic relationships? Either way the couple-or not couple- are certainly cute when they're in a better mood. However, this might just be fans reading too much into things, after all Wentz has gone on record saying “No way would I date Patrick, no offense to him but can you actually see me and him together? No way!” Wentz had also laughed saying this. So maybe it is just fan speculation, we’ll keep you updated_

Patrick closed the magazine and set it on the counter feeling his throat close up; so that was why Pete hadn’t said anything, he’d already said it in the fucking magazine. He glanced over where Pete’s snoring was coming from and felt tears starting to sting his eyes, it really was that bad to just...be with Patrick, wasn’t it? Pete had said straight to a magazine that it was impossible for him and Patrick to even be together, he let out a shaky hitched breath and stumbled towards his own bunk, he just...needed to sleep, that’s all, just sleep. Except even as he curled up under the blankets and stared at the wall his stomach wouldn’t stop rolling violently, the tears wouldn’t stop dripping down his face and his breath started to hitch into small sobs. 

Fuck, why was he still here? Pete had meltdowns that Patrick couldn’t handle sometimes, he’d pull no punches in throwing biting insults and going right for the throat in ways he knew how to, fucking hell he’d _hit_ Patrick and hadn’t even apologized! Why was he still here, why was he still fucking here thinking that Pete actually loved him? Shutting his eyes tightly Patrick let out a small sob and buried his face into his pillow; this was it, this was fucking it, he was going to take Andy up on his offer and head back to Chicago, back and far _far_ away from Pete Wentz and the games he kept playing with Patrick’s heart-

“‘Trick?” 

His eyes snapped open and his heart did a painful twist, oh the cursed stupid little squishy thing was betraying him. 

“Baby?” he heard socked shuffling coming his way and gently a hand slipped fingers through his hair “Hey, hey, wake up, you’re having a nightmare” 

Did he seriously think Patrick was sleeping? 

Still, part of him did want comfort from Pete, so stupidly he hiccuped and rolled over to look up at him. 

“Hey” Pete mumbled softly and crawled onto the bed with him, pulling Patrick to sit up and into his lap “aw honey, what happened?” 

Patrick just sniffled and shrugged “just..nightmare” 

Pete frowned and kissed his cheeks where the tears were “you wanna talk about it?” 

“No,” Patrick said too fast, Pete of course noticed but Patrick buried his face into Pete’s neck “can you just...hold me?” 

“Course I can” 

Thankfully they didn’t move to Pete’s bed, instead lying down in Patrick’s and pulling Patrick closer as if Pete was trying to fuse the two of them. Patrick continued sniffling sometimes, Pete cooing and kissing his face, making the tears go away and smiling at Patrick like he was the whole universe; god but his tortuous little heart was starting to beg Patrick to stay after all. 

“Can we kiss?” Patrick croaked after a bit. 

Pete didn’t verbally answer, instead he just leaned closer and pressed his lips to Patrick’s, he tasted like salt and cherry soda. His hands slid under Patrick’s shirt rubbing small circles along his back while he moved his other hand to cup the back of the younger’s neck, breaking the kiss momentarily to peck Patrick’s nose before returning to his lips. This was what hurt the most, when they’d have sweet little moments like this where Pete did feel like a boyfriend to Patrick and all the bad fights they had were just rough patches they managed to fix (or at least throw a tarp over and never look back at again). Pete broke the kiss again starting to press small ones along Patrick's cheeks, over his eyes, to his nose and the crown of his head. 

“You could've woken me up you know” Pete mumbled into his hair after cuddling for a few moments. 

Patrick frowned and shook his head a little “you don’t sleep well, I didn't wanna wake up you” 

“You’re more important to me than sleep” 

An arrow right to his heart, and not by cupid; Patrick felt his stomach roll, was he? Hadn’t they just been fighting earlier today before the show, about Patrick trying to tell Pete why sometimes wasn’t working in the melody, and hadn’t Pete said Patrick wasn’t “important enough” to make changes? Maybe Pete remembered that too, a pained look crossed his face and he let out a weak sigh. 

“I’m sorry, about how I treated you today. That was, you are important to me Rick, so important. You were right anyway, that song sucked today” 

Patrick’s smile felt small and shriveled “I told you it did” 

Pete sighed again and pressed his forehead to Patrick’s “you’re my musical genius” 

_Don’t bring it up_ Patrick’s eyes drift up to the side looking at the wall, everything was nice just then, maybe it could stay like this and he didn’t need to leave right? 

Apparently, Pete wasn’t done apologizing though, sitting up again and reaching down to cup Patrick’s face, the tenderness going on was going to destroy Patrick’s resolve to go home. 

“I’m serious, I know you think I’m fucking with you but I mean it, you-you get something other people don’t Patrick. I just, I’m sorry for how I’ve been treating you this whole week” Pete looked himself like he was going to cry, was this all for show though? “Please just believe me when I say I love you, even if I don’t say it a lot just know I do” 

And that was it, that was the last little dig in the fissure of Patrick’s breaking heart that was needed; Pete couldn’t have known though what the suddenly harsh sobs he let out meant, he couldn’t have possibly known it was Patrick hating himself for being so stupid to chase that childhood dream of his to be in a band and fall in love with someone who didn't really love him other than just as a convenience. Either way he made a startled sound and quickly scooped Patrick into his arms, gathering him so his face would be pressed against Pete’s chest and started shushing him softly, rubbing up and down his back slowly and comfortingly. 

Maybe this was all manipulation after all, maybe he was saying all these sweet things to keep Patrick here, maybe he had seen the magazine and thought “well shit, I have to make something up or he’ll leave me” and now here they were in bed together; Patrick didn't know and really he just...couldn’t care anymore, he felt so drained it made him want to throw up. After his sobs turned to hiccups Pete got up to get a bottle of water and had Patrick take some Tylenol, now exhausted from crying he momentarily let himself believe that maybe this was all real after all and as Pete tucked him in and promised to come back that he really did love Patrick, just had a hard time showing it. 

He tried clinging to that thought even as he heard Pete on the phone, voice low and seductive, saying “hey baby, you free tomorrow night?” 

* * *

“You’re sure you got everything?” Andy asked again as he stood by the bus doorway. 

“Yeah, anything else I’ve forgotten I don’t care about” Patrick paused before stuffing an oversized orange hoodie into his bag. 

Andy nodded and stepped out of the bus allowing Patrick to leave as well; this was really happening, Patrick was going back to Chicago, it felt like a surreal dream now.

But weren’t dreams supposed to be good? Why’d Patrick feel so hollow? 

That morning Patrick had woken up to Pete outside the bus talking with a girl, it was obvious that they’d been making out judging by both of their lips and Patrick didn’t feel the least bit guilty walking out of the bus startling the woman and clearly causing an argument to break out. Pete had come into the venue with a stormy look but instead of lashing out at Patrick like he’d thought the older man had just wrapped his arms around him and held him tight like a stuffed animal, a bitter feeling had bubbled up into Patrick’s throat but he just let Pete hug him. The band had to do an interview that morning as well, which gave Patrick time to run back to the bus and start packing his things; during the interview he’d text Andy that he was taking him up on the offer to go home and was packing at the time of the message, once the interview was over Patrick had to run back in and play a day show pretending that nothing was wrong even as Pete once again became touchy with him on stage (and god did the fans either eat it up or sneer at them). 

This felt so backhanded and deceitful but...but Patrick was so fucking tired of it, tired of this horrible ball in his gut that had started 8 months ago when Pete had brought him on tour unexpectedly, tired of getting into fights and having to be Pete’s shoulder, tired of this broken thing that was between them. He hadn’t texted Pete he was leaving, Pete had apparently gone off with some guy barely even acknowledging when Andy had mentioned that Patrick wanted to say something to him; who cared, not Patrick, that was for sure. He had at least left Pete a note though that felt worse somehow, break-up through text was bad but not a note? Then again you’d have to be dating to even break up in the first place. Patrick did at least take time to say bye to the other 2 bandmates, Gabe almost squeezing him to death in a hug and Silas said to stay in contact with them. 

“You want to get something to eat before I take you to the airport? We’ve got time” Andy asked as the two of them rounded the venue, he stopped however and Patrick bumped into him “uh oh” 

“Why-oh…” 

Pete was standing at the end of the alley talking to some people with cameras, he looked like he was eating it up but Patrick deep down knew Pete was, in fact, hating every second of it. For some reason this steeled his nerve and he walked past Andy, ignoring the warning tone of “Patrick” and decided that if Pete wanted to deny they were together then he might as well confirm it himself. He heard an annoyed sigh from Andy behind him as the man followed, it wasn’t until they were practically walking through the paparazzi that someone shouted his name and all attention was on him now. 

“Patrick, Patrick, over here~!” camera flashes left white lights dancing in his eyes.

Firm hands grabbed his shoulders and pulled him back with an annoyed growl, unfortunately it was not Andy saving him but rather the man he was trying to leave. 

“Get those out of his face, it freaks him out” Pete snapped, surprisingly the paparazzi listened. 

“Patrick, how’re you feeling after the show today?” a man shoved a mic in his face

He swallowed weakly but steeled himself again “it was great, I love being up on stage, couldn’t feel more alive” 

Pete laughed, total mood switch, and wrapped his arms around the younger in a hug “he’s our golden boy, a lot of my songs would suck if he wasn’t helping out” 

The man looked amused then frowned “Are you going somewhere, Patrick?” 

The man holding him tensed, now Pete seemed to have noticed the backpack and also Andy’s annoyed face through the crowd of paparazzi. Well Patrick Stump, time to give them a show. 

“I’m actually heading back to Chicago” he put on what he hoped was his best smile, the confused faces of the paparazzi helped immensely “my boyfriend just graduated from college and he asked me to move in with him” 

“Boyfriend?” the man with the mic asked, glancing at Pete then back at him “isn’t Pete your boyfriend?” 

“Of course not” Patrick laughed and regretted it, Pete’s fingers had started to dig into him “we’re just friends, Pete’s a sweet guy but can you actually imagine us together?” 

A ghost of what Pete had said, through the group even Andy was looking at him disappointedly. 

A new mic was shoved into Patrick’s face “so then your boyfriend has been waiting for you to go home ever since your unexpected tour?” 

“No of course not, I talked with him before I grabbed my stuff to go on tour. He wanted me to follow my dream, I’ve always wanted to be in a band, but now I think I should put that dream on hold for a little bit” Patrick finally wriggled out of Pete’s hold, the man’s arms fell limply and his stare was so blank it made Patrick’s skin crawl “Connor wants us to try and live together and really I’m not a fixed part of the band. Pete will find someone new to replace me, it won’t be that hard, I’m not important to the band anyway” 

Apparently he’d pissed Andy off because he shouldered his way through the group and pulled Patrick along with him, leaving Pete swamped by the camera's gain now asking who was going to replace Patrick. 

Who hadn’t Pete replaced him with. 

*

They ended up getting some sandwiches, Patrick sitting in the car staring at his shoes trying to eat away the guilt with a cheese sandwich.

“I’m sorry” Patrick croaked out again, he’d apologized at least 7 times now 

“I know you are” Andy said, still calm even for the 7th time “I am too you know, for not stopping you two from this shit fest” 

That was new. 

Patrick swallowed weakly and took another bite of his sandwich “I’m gonna have to make an excuse about why Connor and me aren’t together and why he’s not around” 

Andy just shook his head and reached over patting Patrick’s shoulder “you’ll figure something out, you’re a smart kid” 

“Not smart enough to keep my heart from being ripped out” Patrick took a large bite to keep the tears back 

Beside him the older man sighed and looked out the car windshield before speaking. 

“This isn’t me telling you to go back to him, don’t think that’s what I’m saying because this relationship you guys have...it’s fucked Patrick. I think Pete does love you but he doesn’t know how to do it healthy” 

“What?” Patrick stared at him like he had 4 heads “so what cheating on me solidifies our relationship?” 

“ _No,_ this whole cheating thing is him pushing you and pushing you to see how much you’ll tolerate” Andy sighed and leaned back in his seat rubbing at his face “you remember when he hit you? He has bouts of self-depreciation but when you went back to his bus Patrick after you were asleep he came to me just...totally losing it. I was afraid he’d actually hurt himself, this relationship is so heavily dependant in a bad way you two shouldn’t be together. At all I can’t say but just...go home when we get to the airport and don’t think about coming back” 

That made Patrick’s stomach roll but he said nothing, just finished his sandwich and started on his coke; well now Pete knew what Patrick was willing to take, he’d pushed him enough that now he was sitting in the parking lot of a park about to head to Illinois instead of Maine. 

“What the heck” Andy mumbled and sat up straighter, looking out the windshield “how did he-” 

The passenger door suddenly flung open and Patrick almost fell out, the coke luckily only hit the pavement and not the inside of the car. Roughly his arm was grabbed and he was pulled out of the passenger side, Patrick cried out in slight pain at the harsh grip but he was silenced by the icy glare Pete was giving him; not too far was Gabe running over yelling at Pete to let him go. 

“Where the fuck do you think you're going” Pete all but snarled at him, Patrick cowered a little but was jerked to follow Pete back to Gabe’s car “what the fuck kind of stunt was that, the fucking paparazzi are going to froth over this-what the hell is wrong with you don’t you fucking care about this band-”

“Let me go!” Patrick shrieked.

He slammed his foot into Pete’s shin, the older man made a choked scream and allowed Patrick to run back to a hurrying over Andy. Gabe had Pete leaning against him and gave the two an apologetic panicked look, he seemed to not know what was going on either. 

“What the hell is wrong with you!” Andy snapped, Pete was standing up again sneering at him “I had some small hope that maybe after Patrick joined that you would have grown up a little but you just grabbed him in broad daylight! You wanna talk about and image, how does it look with you grabbing your former guitarist?” 

Pete seemed to just be seeing red, again he grabbed Patrick and pulled him closer, this time Patrick screamed at the horrible pain in his shoulder and the pop that wasn’t supposed to have been there. Everyone was yelling now but Patrick was getting sensory overload, tears began to spring to his eyes as all his brain zoned in on was how enraged Pete looked; it wasn’t that Patrick was leaving that had him pissed, just the band image, God could any more reasons be piled up to make Patrick leave? 

“ _Alright,_ that’s enough!” Andy shouted, something that never happened.

All 3 men were quiet now save for Patrick’s hiccuping and sniffling, Gabe looked alarmed but Pete just looked even more enraged. 

“You two” Andy pointed at them, mouth pressed into a hard line “you get thirty minutes to talk, if I even so much as see either of you yelling or Patrick crying we’re leaving” 

Gabe awkwardly followed Andy back to his car, now alone (of sorts) Pete pulled Patrick over to a tree where he punched it as soon as he let go of Patrick’s arm. The younger whimpered stepping back a bit, arms wrapping around himself, he wondered if Pete had even seen the letter or if as soon as the paparazzi had left he’d tried to hunt them down-oh, but that was Patrick’s note in Pete’s jean pocket wasn’t it? The older man let out a few puffs of agitated breath before finally turning to look at Patrick, face softening when he saw the tears running down his face. 

“You’re not leaving” Pete mumbled, his voice was scratchy from yelling 

Patrick sniffled and shook his head “yes I am, I’m-you can’t actually think this is healthy” 

“Think _what_ is healthy” Pete ripped the note out of his pocket and shoved it at Patirkc’s chest “ _that_ shit?”

Patrick swallowed but took the paper with shaking hands, he already knew what it said: 

_Pete_

_I can’t do this anymore, I don’t know what I did or if I ever did anything at all but either you’re doing this on purpose or you don’t realize it._

_If you don’t realize it then I love you. Not just fanboy crush, not just “oh wow it’s an idol” but I 100% wanted to be with you for real for real._

_If you know what you’re doing then why?_

_You told me all those stories about people breaking your heart and just stomping on it, of getting cheated on when you really loved someone, were you just rubbing it in my face that I was nothing to you? God Pete every time you kissed me I would have these stupid domestic thoughts, you should know what it was like to get your heart ripped out and put in a blender. I can’t do this anymore, I’m going back to Chicago because you don’t wanna talk about this and I’m too tired of hanging off the hook._

_I love you for you, for your words, not just eye-candy or your body or something, I wanted to have a life with you, Pete Wentz._

_But not anymore_

_Goodbye Pete, thanks for the fun while it lasted._

“yes, this ‘shit’” Patrick mumbled, sniffling and wishing he could stop shaking “I’m-we’re done, if we ever were something we’re done” 

Now Pete’s face warps completely, anger now turned to a look of pure anguish “no, no no, no, you’re not-there is no over, nothing is over” 

“Do you fucking hear yourself!” Patrick’s voice cracked and he swallowed, right, no yelling “I don’t know if you get off on watching me cry or knowing that I’m back at the bus waiting for you-”

“We’re _not_ over goddammit” Pete grabbed Patrick’s shoulders and pulled him close, looping his arms around him to squeeze him close and started rambling in his hair “we’re not over, we’re not, you’re not leaving-you can’t _leave_ me” 

“Pete _stop_ please just stop” Patrick choked out in tears, suddenly he felt like a hollow shell, going limp in the mans’ arms

Pete pressed his face into Patrick’s neck, he could feel tears now “shut the _fuck up,_ we’re going back to the bus and we’re-we’re going back okay, fuck” 

“I’m going home to Chicago” Patrick’s voice cracked but for some reason knowing Pete was crying gave him a weird kick to straighten himself up “I’m tired of this, I’m fucking sick of you playing with my heart” 

Pete wasn’t listening, or maybe he was but didn’t care, he just kept whimpering out “no, no, no”; maybe it was a bad idea but with shaking hands Patrick reached up and placed a hand on the back of Pete’s neck. 

“You said I was important to you” Patrick whispered, gently pushing away from Pete but unable to completely get away “why can’t you make me feel like that?” 

Pete’s eyes were glistening with tears and he looked so broken, where had this been? Why couldn’t Patrick see this kind of emotion any other day without him having to play therapist? 

“Why can’t you just believe me when I say that you’re important” Pete sniffled and pawed slightly at Patrick’s chest “you’re everything to me, you’re my whole world Patrick, _please_ just listen to me I love you, I _love you_ ” 

Patrick swallowed and pushed away completely now, Pete looked so deflated it hurt “god Pete do you hear yourself? You tell I’m important and you love me then you have no problem fucking other people, you kiss me like I’m, like I’m oxygen and then you just as fast come home with hickeys and smell like you had an orgy and just expect me to keep smiling? To keep pretending that we’re happy?” 

Pete let out a sob and shook his head, pressing his hands to face before letting them flop back to his sides and looking pleadingly at Patrick “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll apologize a million times but please Patrick don’t leave me-” 

“Why’re you ashamed of me?” Patrick snapped, memories of the magazine articles rushed back “why is it so impossible for us to be together? Am I that disgusting?” 

“No! No-no, God Patrick you’re fucking gorgeous” Pete tried to pull him close again but Patrick slapped at his hands “Patrick, _Patrick_ I can’t just tell the tabloids we’re together-they’ll destroy you and ruin you sweetie I can’t do that to you-” 

“Then just fucking say we’re not together! Why’d you have to make it sound like I’m ugly, why’d you have to sound so ashamed that fans think we’re together!” angry tears pooled in his eyes and dripped down his face now “I’m so tired of this shit, Pete, I’m not ashamed of being with you but it sure as hell seems like I’m just a constant instead of a partner. You can’t even tell me why you cheat on me, can you? _Can you?”_

Pete shook his head, again grabbing Patrick’s shoulders but this time he let him and the older man pressed his face into the younger's shoulder. 

“No, no I can’t, I’m sorry Patrick I’m-I’m fucked in the head and you know that I’m sorry. I hate it, I hated it every time I never liked it I’m sorry I just couldn’t-I couldn’t be in a normal relationship with you” 

“Well you had your fucking chance” Patrick’s voice was strained now as he pushed Pete away, a panicked and wild look in the man’s eyes “you said your ten cents, I said mine. We’re-we’re done, Pete Wentz. Go away, go find someone else to rip their heart out, go find someone to replace me” 

Pete didn’t grab him this time, didn't say anything, just made a choked sound and slowly sank back against the tree; Patrick was mixed then, he felt like a scumbag leaving Pete there crying, he felt proud of himself for finally leaving this awful relationship, he felt hollow and scared, he wanted to run back to Pete and apologize and just kiss him until everything felt better. Gabe and Andy were talking when they noticed Patrick walk up, no one said anything as Gabe hugged Patrick with another “goodbye” and walked over to the crying form of Pete. Andy gently patted Patrick’s back as the younger got into the car and they drove off towards the airport. 


	2. Chapter 2

_“This band sucks” Patrick sniffed glaring in the direction of the stage “the guitarist looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here”_

_“He’s just temporary, I guess their old one quit cause of family stuff” Grace sighed as she downed the rest of her drink, “I thought you’d bitch more about the music itself”_

_“It’s...passable” Patrick glared at his friend as she laughed “whatever dude, I_ could _actually play guitar better than that guy”_

_“Oh really kid”_

_Both Grace and Patrick whirled around and the young man felt his face burn; the singer of the band was standing there, arms crossed looking unimpressed, shit but maybe Patrick did have to agree with some people that he was hot._

_“You think you know something about music?” Pete Wentz gave him a once over then smirked “that’s cute, you know how many kids your age I hear say that?”_

_Patrick scowled and stepped closer crossing his arms himself, Wentz wasn’t that much taller than him but it was still noticeable “it’s cute that you think your music doesn’t sound like your relying so heavily on your guitarist when his pacing is slow and the rhythm is like someone put a rabid squirrel on a metronome”_

_Grace made a choking sound and grabbed at his shoulder but he shrugged her hand back, Wentz was now staring at his mouth slightly open before regaining composure and sneered at him._

_“Damn kid, you’re better than most critics bitching about us, if we’re so shit how come you’re still hanging around?”_

_“Our friend is a fan of you guys” Patrick mumbled rolling his eyes as if the sneer could scare him “I’d have ditched already otherwise”_

_“Patrick” Grace said exasperatedly and grabbed his arm again this time pulling him back “he’s not serious, he thinks you guys are fine”_

_“Oh no he doesn't” Pete laughed humorlessly “don’t bother lying for him, I know when someone means what they say. If you think we rely so much on Ricky then let’s do something about it huh?”_

_“Wha-hey!” Patrick squeaked as Wentz grabbed his wrist and pulled him suddenly through the crowd of people._

_Looking back Grace stood there genuinely looking baffled, another unfortunate thing was that several fans suddenly realized Pete Wentz was walking through them; Patrick was pretty sure he was bruised from getting jostled around by fans but thankfully security had come over and allowed Pete to actually go back...wherever he was dragging Patrick to without any fans grabbing at them._

_“Dude! What the literal fuck are you doing? Let go” Patrick pulled on his arm, how strong was this guy? “Am I even allowed back here?”_

_“You are now, congrats kid you’re gonna be replacing Ricky” Pete gave him a grin dripping with smugness “you get to prove to me you’re better at guitar than him”_

_“What?!”_

* * *

Getting used to being home was a lot more alien than Patrick had thought it would be; thing was now though was he had a lot of money, he’d put a lot of it away and part of him wanted to get a new apartment just for more room. Yeah, even he couldn’t lie to himself, as soon as the Uber had dropped him off outside his complex Patrick had stared at the building feeling cold, in the back of his mind his brain went right back to the night Pete dropped him off to pack things-no, he couldn’t think about Pete, he just needed to go inside and sleep. Luckily he’d paid rent on time and the landlady was very reasonable anyway so he didn't need to worry much, when he stepped inside a shiver went through him and Patrick left his bag and guitar at the door to turn the thermostat up. He’d unpack everything later he decided as he moved the bag to the couch, it wasn’t like he had anywhere to be anymore. 

After a long shower and setting his guitar against the wall Patrick burrowed himself under the blankets in his room, closing his eyes sleep almost immediately washed over him. 

* * *

_It went great; Patrick was still reeling from being on stage and the fact that he was able to play, that and maybe the relief that the other members didn’t complain too much about Pete dragging a random guy to replace Ricky (Ricky however had tried to punch Patrick, Pete ended up being the one to give Ricky a bloody nose and Adams was promptly removed from the premise). They’d all gotten off stage, all of them hyped while Patrick had decided he’d already done his part and handed the guitar off to someone, without bothering to say anything to anyone else he slipped away and out from backstage._

_Grace had been texting him after Pete had dragged him away asking here he was, now though her texts were all excited and telling him how great he did on stage, a silly smile was on his face as he texted her back that she and Jo could just head home now and he’d just take the bus._

_“Hey!” he jumped a little and turned around to see Pete walking over to him, he looked a little annoyed now instead of the earlier excitement “where’re you going? You ran off before any of us could say anything to you”_

_  
_ _Patrick just rolled his eyes trying to put back up the annoying front “well I served my purpose, didn’t I? Even if you still think I sucked everyone else seemed to like my playing”_

_Pete blinked and looked confused, then seemed to remember their earlier altercation “oh, right, yeah I forgot about that... look forget I said anything okay? Ricky got on everyone's nerves and he got on mine tonight. You were amazing, who taught you?”_

_A blush spread across his cheeks, he thought Patrick was good? “Um, self-taught actually...music’s kinda my thing, my dad’s a folk singer so I got my love from him I guess”_

_“Bullshit” Pete didn’t sound mad though, instated he was grinning and that made Patrick’s heart flutter “seriously? What else do you play?”_

_“I-”_

_Patrick was cut off by someone yelling about Pete, for some reason he thought it was a good idea so he grabbed Pete’s arm and pulled him along, he had no idea where he was going but not being mobbed by fans sounded awesome. Pete didn't pull away either, he just followed after Patrick until the younger ended up pulling them into a room, Pete’s stupid grin was an indicator that apparently they were somewhere very embarrassing-oh, Patrick had pulled them into a bathroom._

_“Shut up, this was the only door I saw” Patrick huffed, Pete started laughing and Patrick decided that he was no longer hot “shut up!”_

_“Calm down, calm down, it’s just funny to me” Pete sat on the ground and smiled up at Patrick “so, what do you play?”_

_“What don’t I play” Patrick awkwardly sat down and leaned back against the wall next to Pete “I kinda write too, some lyrics and stuff”_

_“You get better and better, kid” Pete had a nice smile, it was irritating_

_“I’m_ not _a kid, I’m twenty-one”_

_Pete laughed again and shrugged “thirty-three, sorry but you’re a kid to me”_

_Patrick sniffed and glared at him, Pete just ignored it though and the two started talking; music, other interests, Pete asking about what Patrick did and Patrick asking if he did anything other than being in a band. He wasn’t actually sure how much time passed but when Patrick checked his phone he found it was dead, well shit._

_“What’s wrong?” Pete leaned over and looked at the black screen “oh shit hang on-damn we’ve been here for an hour, crap your girlfriend’s probably waiting for you”_

_“Girlfriend-you mean Grace? No dude she’s not my girlfriend” Patrick laughed lightly and ran a hand through his hair, he totally wasn’t freaking out over the fact now he couldn’t take the bus “I’m single”_

_“You are?” Pete asked, his tone was weird though, kind of like he was in awe_

_“Yeah um, I’m not the best person to date. I’m married to music more or less” Patrick smiled sadly at his shoes “it’s cool though, I don’t really know if I’m relationship material”_

_Pete was quiet now, had Patrick opened up too much? Shit he probably had, who wanted to listen to some rando’s love issues-_

_“Have you ever kissed a guy, Patrick?”_

_W h a t._

_Patrick looked back up at the older man, he was picking at his jeans now not looking at him._

_“Um...yeah, I’ve explored before, had a boyfriend but he kinda wanted things too fast” Patrick didn’t remember Eddie too fondly_

_Pete hummed, he licked his lips like he was nervous before looking over at Patrick “you’re pretty cute, Patrick”_

_Oh, so that was why he asked. Time kind of seemed to slow down then; Pete reached over and gently tilted Patrick’s chin up, Patrick’s brain had a million bells and whistles going off as Pete leaned closer but paused, maybe he was waiting for Patrick to close the distance._

_So he did._

_Pete’s lips were very soft, wet still from when he licked them but Patrick didn’t mind as he closed his eyes and scooted closer, Pete slid his hand to cup the younger’s face and brush his tongue against Patrick’s lips. His mouth opened and he made a soft high sound as Pete’s tongue slipped in and swiped over his own; right, okay, so they were making out now, Patrick was not complaining in any way. He wasn’t sure if he did it or if Pete moved but Patrick was soon in the other man’s lap, holding Pete’s face while the other hand his arms were around Patrick’s waist._

_“Fuck Trick” Pete gasped as they parted, Patrick liked that nickname “please, please come with me. Not just cause of this though I’d like it if we did this but like, you’re an amazing guitar player and Gabe thinks you’re cool, I’m sure the other two will come around. Please say yes?”_

_He shouldn't have, he knew that, Patrick had school and friends here in Chicago and even if he’d always wanted to play music and have people hear it was touring with this guy he didn't actually know a good idea? Except, Pete’s eyes were shining while looking at him, no one had ever looked at Patrick like he’d hung the universe above them the way Pete was right then. Patrick swallowed weakly and knew he was going to say yes anyway._

_“okay”_

* * *

It’s hard at first, but he feels like that’s normal anyway. He wakes up and almost calls out Pete’s name, then remembers where he is and feels pretty shit but moves on with the day; school goes on and Patrick manages to land a job at a record store which is pretty good but sometimes sucks when people recognize him as “the guy Pete Wentz dated”. He gets back in touch with Grace and Jo and they’re both relieved he’s back but they know something’s wrong, they never push him to tell them about his relationship with Pete though which is a plus. 

He keeps in contact with Gabe and Andy, they check in on him sometimes and Patrick checks on them back, he tries his best to pretend that he didn’t see a week after he’d left the tour that Pete had reportedly had a breakdown and the tour was canceled. It wasn’t his fault Gabe would assure him, Pete sometimes just wasn’t able to handle things, Patrick didn't need to feel responsible for Pete anymore Andy had said after a long phone call one day. Still, as Patrick kept seeing the angered or concerned fans all over the internet he couldn’t help but feel-no, he _knew_ that him leaving Pete was what set off the breakdown. 

Some people did remember “Connor” and Patrick would simply just say “he cheated on me” and people left it at that or looked at him suspiciously. After 2 months of things somewhat settling back in Patrick had been wondering where the texts were, the calls or even showing up himself, Patrick felt stupid wondering if Pete would do any of this but then again he knew he meant nothing to Pete. 

And then the whole month of just that happened to him. 

It hurt, it hurt like hell seeing the long list of missed calls, the texts from a number now with no name; it felt like fucking torture and Patrick almost wanted to change his number. They went ignored and Patrick continued getting through school and hanging out with Grace and Jo. 

“Did you hear by the way?” Jo asked one night when they were out at a park, the sun had set and the sky was a violet orange 

“Hear what?” Patrick took a drink of his slushie 

“He quit the band, they all broke up” Jo looked at him with a pitying look, he hated it “it’s all over the music news, a lot of people think it has something to do with you” 

Patrick grit his teeth and made a point of staring at the lake ahead “whatever he chooses isn’t my business” 

“Of course it’s not,” Jo said hurriedly, Grace was the one who thought Patrick was just tired but Jo knew better “Just thought you might wanna know in case people start coming in angry and you don’t know why” 

Patrick said nothing after that, they went back to silence until they parted ways, once he was back home Patrick opened his laptop to see if she’d been misunderstanding the situation; she hadn’t, Pete Wentz had indeed quit his band. 

* * *

_Hickeys littered along Patrick’s neck and shoulders, the parts where Pete could reach at least without Patrick taking his shirt off. The younger’s mouth tasted like cherries from the soda pop Pete had been drinking before he’d decided they should make out for a few hours, Patrick wasn’t that opposed to it since it was an off day anyway._

_“You’re so fucking beautiful” Pete mumbled where his face was smushed against Patrick’s shoulder._

_“You sure you don’t mean yourself?” Patrick smiled weakly while finding himself falling asleep, the bed actually felt nice_

_“Shut_ up _, of course I mean you. You’re gorgeous Patrick” Pete propped himself on his elbows and leaned down to press a kiss to Patrick’s nose “I’ll always tell you how beautiful you are”_

_“That’s gonna be a long time then if you plan on keeping me around that long” Patrick did feel his heart flutter though, the thought of being with Pete long made him feel warm “you’ll get sick of me very soon, especially with how we fight over music”_

_Pete laughed and laid on top of him again making Patrick whine and wiggle around “no way, it keeps me alive and young. Who else will tolerate my butchering of covers?”_

_“Ugh don’t remind me” Patrick groaned and shook his head “never sing for me, keep to your own singing please”_

_“Anything for you love”_

_For some reason that pet name made Patrick feel squishy inside and he realized then that...yeah, he did actually want a life with Pete. His eyes widened a little as he realized that, Pete meanwhile had by some miracle fallen asleep so Patrick was trapped under him, so much for wanting to hide in his own bunk now and muse over this realization. Except as Patrick thought on this more and listened to Pete’s steady breathing he smiled, having a life with Pete, yeah that sounded right._

* * *

It’s a text a year after that makes Patrick’s stomach roll a little; he doesn’t look for someone who isn’t in the apartment anymore and he doesn’t hear much about Pete anymore besides some people in his life mentioning that he’s going better and still does music here and there, for the most part though he’s doing tennis so that’s a thing. Patrick wakes up one morning getting ready to make breakfast when his phone dings, when he picks it up he just sees it’s Gabe but the message makes him cold. 

_He’s in Chicago right now, I guess he’s visiting some friends_ \- Gabe 

Patrick presses his lips into a line and sets his phone back down, he’s got french toast to worry about. He heads out to Vintage Vinyls and spends from 6 to 10 working, he’s got short hours today since the owner will be leaving town to see family, on his break he rechecks his phone to see if Gabe’s texted more and unfortunately he has. 

_I know this is shitty of me to ask and he did cheat on you but he's better now Patrick - Gabe_

_Maybe see him?_ \- Gabe

Patrick’s fingers worked before he could even think; 

_If Pete wants to see me then he can come find me himself_ \- Patrick

He forgot all about sending that text once he set it back down, he was at his job after all and he didn’t have time to think about his ex. 10 rolled around and the store was closed up, Patrick got his check from Mr. Hanson before he left and stopped by Subway to get a sandwich before heading back home. As he pulled into the parking lot though Patrick noticed something that was probably weird to notice, there was a white car he’d never seen before sitting nearby, it wasn’t unusual for friends to visit people in the complex but they weren’t allowed to use the complex parking. Frowning he shrugged and grabbed his keys and sandwich, mind going to a melody he’d been meaning to work on and some schoolwork he had to get done when he stopped dead in his tracks. 

The man’s hair was blonde now, a contrast to his dark skin that stood out-unfortunately-beautifully and he wore sweats and an oversized hoodie Patrick recognized as something he’d bought when they’d gotten caught in the rain in a city. He was fidgeting around and checking his phone a lot, had he texted Patrick and he didn’t know it? When Patrick pulled his phone out he saw that no, Pete had not texted him, but maybe Gabe had something to do with this. It felt like a dream seeing Pete again, a weird dream that wasn’t good but it wasn’t a nightmare either, Patrick’s mouth just felt dry and he was struggling to decide if he should walk up to his door or...or leave and go to someone’s house. 

God but he was beautiful still, he looked a lot healthier than a lot of photos that had surfaced during Pete’s breakdown, Patrick felt a little happy at that at least but there was still bitterness in his body. What had Pete come here for? 

There really was only one way to know though, wasn’t there? 

So, feeling like he was walking through molasses, Patrick walked down his hall to stop a few feet from Pete. When the older man looked up at him even he wore an expression like he couldn’t believe any of this was real. 

They stared at each other then, until Pete finally spoke;

"Hi" 


End file.
